Sign 1: Poor Communication
Once communication has deteriorated, recurring “vicious cycles” of conflict and arguments can take over to the point that distressed couples often complain “we keep having the same arguments over and over”. Negative communication and withdrawal can be equally detrimental. When conversations quickly turn negative, partners can feel depressed, insecure, and disregarded. Withdrawing from or avoiding conversation can have the same effect, and has the added negative result of making unspoken complaints increase in importance and severity as they remain unaddressed. At Great Lakes Psychology Group, we urge couples to seek professional help when they aren’t able to talk about their problems in a mutually respectful, beneficial way.
Sign 2: Lack of Intimacy or Incompatible Sex Drives
Changes in the levels of and expectations around intimacy can create major problems in a relationship. Reasons for a lack of intimacy are many and nuanced; things like medication, work stress, life changes, depression, and more can affect individuals differently. At Great Lakes Psychology Group, we understand and seek out the reasons that cause a lack of physical expression, and work to get both partners to a point of compassion and intimacy that works for them.
Sign 3: Inability to Forgive or Move Past Issues
Traumatic relationship events, such as an affair, can be emotionally catastrophic to a marriage. Events like these impact both partners in more ways than one, prompting feelings of betrayal, rejection, depression, and despondence. Great Lakes Psychology Group helps couples navigate the emotions and reasons for becoming stuck in the past, and helps to get both partners to a place of healing and forgiveness.
Sign 4: A Reoccurring Issue
“We keep having the same argument over and over again.” Nearly everyone has said or heard this phrase at one time or another in a relationship. Recurring issues can happen for a variety of reasons and are usually accompanied by poor communication. The counselors at Great Lakes Psychology Group are skilled in developing plans for couples to focus in on what’s causing the problems, and solidifying techniques to keep the problems from occurring in the future.
Sign 5: Finances
Disagreements over money are one of the top reasons couples find themselves in conflict. When partners disagree about how finances are handled, conflict can escalate quickly and become a screaming match; by contacting a counselor at Great Lakes Psychology Group, couples can talk to an objective third party about their frustrations and concerns in a caring and confidential environment.
Sign 6: Kids
No matter how much a couple loves their children, most can agree that at one time or another they’ve felt immense stress over responsibilities and parenting issues surrounding their children. Children add a complex layer to any relationship – in fact, research has shown repeatedly that 75% of couples reports diminished marital satisfaction following the birth of their first child. Seek counseling at Great Lakes Psychology Group if you have frequent disagreements about parenting styles or how your children should be raised.
Sign 7: Missing the “Spark”
When couples become more like roommates than a married couple, this may indicate a need for counseling. If there is a lack of communication, conversation and intimacy or any other elements the couple feels are important and they feel they just “coexist,” this indicates emotional alienation and detachment that is highly predictive of divorce. Therapeutic intervention is needed to help couples restore the emotional connection they felt when they first fell in love, and develop a deeper understanding of the dynamics that led to emotional estrangement.
All marriages require work, but when one or both partners start to feel emotionally disengaged the marriage becomes highly vulnerable to further deterioration without outside help. At Great Lakes Psychology Group, those couples willing to commit to the process of marriage counseling find themselves developing a deeper understanding of their partner, their needs, and their individual expressions of love. Marriage counseling is the perfect way to remind each other why you fell in love and keep it that way – contact Great Lakes Psychology Group today to get started building a happier, healthier marriage!