Understanding and Coping with Pet Grief

By Allie Sadowski

Allie is a member of the GLPG Marketing team and a contributor to the Current and the Notepad.

Losing a pet is a deeply emotional experience, and the grief that follows can be just as intense as losing a human loved one. Pets are more than just animals. Pets are companions, confidants, and beloved family members. When a pet passes away, the sadness can feel overwhelming.

What is pet grief?

Pet grief is the emotional and psychological response to the loss of a beloved animal companion. Pet grief can manifest in various ways, including sadness, anger, denial, guilt, and even physical symptoms like loss of appetite or fatigue.

The grieving process is unique to each individual, and there is no “right” way to grieve. The depth of grief can depend on many factors including the bond shared with the pet and the role they played in one’s life.

Why losing a pet is so hard

The loss of a pet can be one of the most challenging forms of grief. Pets often provide unconditional love, companionship, and emotional support. They are integral parts of our daily routines and life milestones. Whether it’s greeting us at the door, offering comfort during tough times, or simply being a steady presence, pets create a bond that becomes deeply woven into our lives. The absence of these comforting routines and their affection can leave a large void. Additionally, many people don’t acknowledge pet grief as valid, which can make the grieving process feel even more isolating.

The stages of grief after losing a pet

Grieving the loss of a pet often mirrors the stages of grief we experience with other major losses. While everyone’s experience is unique, many people experience the following stages:

1. Denial: It may feel impossible to believe your pet is truly gone, and you might expect to hear their familiar sounds or see them in their usual spots.
2. Anger: Anger can emerge as you try to make sense of the loss. You may feel frustrated over circumstances like an illness, accident, or even the decisions made about your pet’s care.
3. Bargaining: During this stage, you might dwell on “what if” scenarios, wishing you could have done something differently to prevent the loss.
4. Depression: Profound sadness sets in as the reality of the loss becomes clear. This stage may include crying, feeling withdrawn, and struggling with daily routines.
5. Acceptance: Acceptance doesn’t mean forgetting your pet, but it does mean finding a way to move forward while honoring their memory.

These stages are not always experienced in order, and you may cycle through them multiple times. Recognizing these stages can help you better understand your emotions and allow yourself the grace to grieve in your own time.

Coping with the loss of a pet

The pain of losing a pet can be intense, but there are ways to help you navigate this difficult time:

• Allow yourself time to grieve: Accept that your feelings are valid and give yourself permission to grieve fully. Suppressing emotions can prolong the healing process.
• Talk about your feelings: Sharing your emotions with understanding friends, family members, or pet loss support groups can be comforting.
• Create a memorial: Honoring your pet’s life through a memorial, such as a scrapbook, photo album, or garden, can help you cherish their memory.
• Write a letter to your pet: Expressing your thoughts and emotions in writing can be a powerful way to find closure.
• Keep a routine: Maintaining a routine can provide stability, especially if you have other pets who may also be grieving.
• Seek professional support: If grief becomes overwhelming, reaching out to a therapist who specializes in grief and pet loss can be beneficial.

While allowing yourself to grieve is important, engaging in activities that bring joy can help alleviate sadness. Here are a few examples:

• Exercise: Physical activity, like taking a nature walk or attending a yoga class, can improve mood and reduce stress.
• Pick up a new hobby: Engaging in creative activities like painting, writing, or playing music can help channel emotions.
• Spend time in nature: Being outdoors can provide a sense of grounding and relaxation.
• Connect with loved ones: Surrounding yourself with supportive friends and family can offer comfort and distraction.

Pet memorial ideas

Honoring your pet’s memory can bring comfort during the grieving process. Here are some meaningful ways to memorialize them:

• Create a tribute video: Compile videos and photos of your pet to celebrate their life.
• Plant a tree or garden: Planting a tree, flowers, or a small garden in their honor can be a living tribute.
• Get a custom pet portrait: Commissioning a painting or digital artwork of your pet can be a beautiful keepsake.
• Donate in their name: Making a donation to an animal shelter or rescue organization in memory of your pet can be a fulfilling way to give back.
• Personalized memorial stones: Custom-engraved stones with your pet’s name and a loving message can be placed in your home or garden.

Helping a loved one navigate pet grief

Supporting someone who has lost a pet involves empathy and understanding:

• Listen without judgement: Allow them to express their emotions freely without minimizing their grief.
• Offer practical support: Assisting with daily tasks, such as running errands or cooking meals, can ease their burden.
• Respect their grieving process: Everyone grieves differently. Give them space and time to heal at their own pace.
• Encourage professional support: If their grief is overwhelming, suggest grief or pet loss support groups or counseling.

Children may struggle to understand the loss of a pet. It’s important to provide guidance and support:

• Use simple and honest explanations: Avoid euphemisms like “went to sleep” and explain death in age-appropriate terms.
• Validate their feelings: Let them know it’s okay to feel sad, angry, or confused.
• Encourage expression: Allow them to draw pictures, write letters, or talk about their emotions.
• Create a goodbye ritual: Hold a small ceremony, such as planting a flower in memory of the pet, can help with closure.
• Provide comfort and stability: Maintain routines and offer extra emotional support to help your child adjust.

Pet remembrance gifts

Giving a pet remembrance gift can provide comfort and keep your pet’s memory alive. Some thoughtful ideas include:

• Customized jewelry: Lockets, bracelets, or necklaces with a photo of the pet or of a paw print.
• Memory boxes: A personalized box to store keepsakes like a collar, favorite toy, or photos.
• Pet memorial candles: Scented candles with personalized engravings can provide a moment of reflection.
• Stuffed animals or plushies: A custom plush replica of your pet can serve as a comforting reminder.
• Personalized wind chimes: Chimes engraved with your pet’s name can create a soothing sound in their memory.

Pet loss support groups

For those struggling with the loss of a pet, support groups offer a space to connect with others who understand the pain of pet grief. Here are some ways to find support groups:

• Local veterinarian clinics: Some vet offices offer pet loss support groups or can refer you to a local resource.
• Online forums and communities: Websites like Reddit, Facebook, and dedicated pet loss websites provide virtual support groups.

Takeaway

Grieving the loss of a pet is a personal journey that takes time. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and it’s important to be patient with yourself. Remember that honoring your pet’s lie in meaningful ways, seeking support, and allowing yourself to feel can help ease the pain. Your pet’s love and companionship will always be a cherished part of your heart, and their memory will live on with you forever.

If you or a loved one is struggling with pet grief, you’re not alone. Our network of therapists are here to support you. Visit findmytherapist.com to schedule an appointment with a therapist online, instantly.