Congratulations! You’re newly married to the one you love, and entering a new chapter of your life. Everything should be wine and roses, love and passion, and simple wedded bliss… right?
Wrong. The fact is, nearly one-third of all marriages fail within the first 5 years (National Center for Health Statistics, 1991), and between one-half and two-thirds end in divorce (Cherlin, 1992; Martin & Bumpass, 1989). As the topic of matrimonial success and divorce is studied more and more, research shows that how a couple adapts to their first two years together can make or break their marriage.
The reality is that you’re going through a stressful transition, no matter how much you love your partner or how long you’ve been together. That stress, combined with the quirks and realities of tying the knot and combining lives often means that tensions build and fights erupt.
Newlywed constant fighting isn’t a sign of weakness, or that the relationship is ‘broken’. Statistics show that almost all newlywed couples especially those between the ages of 18-35 experience premature doubts in the first few months of marriage. Some common reasons include:
- Loss of romance or failure to make partner a priority.
- Stress over combining households.
- Difficulties in defining roles and responsibilities.
- Boredom and the same regular routine.
- Financial constraints, debt, and unsustainability.
It should be a top priority to communicate, discussing feelings and concerns both before and after getting married. Couples counseling and marriage counseling are healthy, smart choices when facing the struggles inherent in combining lives. A marriage counselor can offer guidance and perspective to help newlyweds reduce fighting, and marriage workshops are a wonderful way to strengthen the relationship through positive interaction and learned communication skills.
The bottom lines are problems are common in the first year of marriage, cropping up as the excitement and newness wears off and reality sets in. Married life is far different than dating, and little differences that seemed unimportant or non-existent become major conflicts after getting married. At Great Lakes Psychology Group, we strive to create a positive, proactive environment for newlyweds to discuss their problems and create long-term strategies to keep them as happy as the day they said: “I do”. Contact us today to start building a lifetime of love!